Like Tupac says, " I don't see no changes...."

Countdown to clinical year is just under 5 weeks. Looking back on the past year, it has flown by. I just keep wondering if I have learned enough, experienced enough, remembered enough, and matured enough to do this. This year has had a subconcious change on me. When you sit in class with the same people, hang out with the same people, literally eat/piss/bleed with the same people; you lose the baseline for who you were a year ago. Everyone is going through the same changes with you, and sometimes it is hard to see how you have grown. Maybe the individuals who are married w/ or w/o children don't know what I am talking about. They go home every day to loved ones who see the changes.

I am a class clown, always have been and always will be. I see myself much as Turk and JD see themselves on Scrubs. I like to joke or lighten the mood, but I know that when the situation calls for it, I adapt and put on my "Clinic-Face". It's kinda like that Sylvester Stallone movie, "Over The Top". Sly explains that turning his hat around "turns his attitude around". Dialogue...so....deep....can't resist...bad...80's...movie. (Never underestimate a guy willing to star in a movie named, "Stop, Or My Mom Will Shoot.)

I figured I had learned a bit of medical information and technique, but I didn't feel the changes at my core. However, a couple of weeks ago (during Spring Break), I suddenly realized how much this year had affected me. My baseline had shifted. I was no longer surrounded by my classroom peers, and it was apparent how much I had learned. More importantly, my "Clinic-Face" kept bobbing to the surface more and more. It took awhile to realize that "Clinic-Face" was actually "Responsible-Adult-Face" in disguise.

I think incoming PA students should be aware of this. They are gonna sit in class day after day, listening to lectures, thinking they are wasting time. To those students: You aren't...entirely. I am not gonna say you won't be bored, or that you don't deserve to be pissed off when you feel the carpet is being pulled out from beneath you. However, without knowing it, you are changing and you are learning. Perhaps that itself might keep me going for another 5 weeks!

JW