Why I Like Backyard Volleyball

I think if you asked anyone, they would say they like the outdoors. Camping, hiking, rockclimbing; they're all pleasant pursuits for both their exercise and aesthetic value. Individuals like to test their mettle with mountain climbing, and that's where today's encounter takes us:

**Today's story told with permission from the patients, all identifiers have been changed to protect the extremely lucky**

Doing the walk-in schedule for the Urgent Care here in Forks. I am getting comfortable now seeing patients on my own, getting histories and performing physical exams. Often I will write my assesment and plan down on a sticky note for my preceptor to read as he follows behind me. This actually works pretty well, and not only makes me evaluate on my own, but does alot of the grunt work for the preceptor (he usually sees a patient on his own, then pops in to talk to mine really quick at the end). Yesterday was like any other except when I saw two charts in the door of room 3. Occasionally we see bros and sisters, or mom and new babies, but when I read the chief complaints of both they said, "Fell off cliff".

Turns out these two (Erma and Norbert), were participating in a final project for their master's of Wilderness Instruction and Survival for a university back east. Together with 12 others (4 instructors and 10 students), they had been in Olympic National Forest for the past 23 days. They were high above the snow line, outfitted with crampons, ice axes, helmets, and other various implements of high mountain recreation, descending along a path in the ice after their final ascent of the peak. Erma and Norbert were roped together, when one of them stepped off the trail, slipped, and pulled the other onto an ice slide. The slide ended at a steep cliff 200 yards down the slope. As they continued to slide and pick up speed the entire way, their axes could not penetrate the hard ice deep enough to gain purchase. Over the edge they flew. One hundred and eighty feet they fell, slamming into the cliff face every 20-30 feet or so (this probably saved their lives). Right before a 50-75 foot section of drop off (with no cliff face to hit), Erma's ice axe lodged between two boulders. With her elbow and wrist taking the brunt of the weight, Norbert climbed above her and tied into the cliff face. Slowly he tied Erma in, they climbed back up the face until reaching a flatter section where the rest of their party had run down to. Their party checked them over for obvious injury, shock, concussion, etc. They then walked while the adrenaline was still holding back pain until they were over halfway out of the park. The next day, loaded with ibuprofen and limping, they walked the rest of the way out. They woke up, drove to the hospital parking lot, and sat there bruised and broken, staring at both the "ER Entrance" sign and the "Urgent Care" sign on the other side. They chose Urgent Care because it had been 2 days, (does that qualify Chip?).


They both looked like a cross between Sylvester Stallone at the end of Rocky I (where he looks like bruised shit), and a scratching post at Seigfreid and Roy's house. Norbert was missing 4x4 inch patches over his left knee and shoulder, right ribs, and right cheek. X-rays showed a separated shoulder (Level 2), and a right patellar fracture. Painful, but he'll live. Erma was far worse off. She was wearing short sleeves when they fell, and they had gone through several small trees. Her right wrist and elbow were severly swollen from the jerk when they stopped, with almost no range of motion. Her entire (and I mean ENTIRE!) ass was bright purple, and she was almost unable to sit anywhere. Her back was missing about half it's epidermal layer, and the inside of her left thigh looked Tye-Dyed. However, the most serious thing was her feet. While her boots had protected them during the fall, the hike out have given her three severe blisters. After 3 days without changing her socks/shoes, they had become infected and inflamed, with angry red swelling reaching above her ankle. It took my preceptor and I almost an hour to diagram the two of them, then it was off to the hospital for 2 days of IV Vancomycin for Erma. With a little Percocet, Gatorade, and Cheese Fries they were both looking better the next day and were ready to fly back East as of this post.

Moral of the story: If you want to pass the final of your "Wilderness Instruction and Survival" class, a good way to get an "A" is to go flying off a 180 foot cliff and live (not sure how that measures the Instruction part of the class. As for me, no thank you. I will BBQ some steaks, drink some iced tea, and get together with family and friends for backyard volleyball. That way, if I want to test my mettle, I will just raise the net a couple inches...besides, the views can be just as aesthetically pleasing.


-JW